Hooligans

We weren’t bad kids, or so we had convinced ourselves. We were comfortable in our privilege. We were confident. We thought that if we were caught doing something that was against the rules (illegal even) our parents would somehow make it all right. But, we were never caught, and therefore enjoyed the risks we took without consequence.

The First Story

The parade float we seniors were making for the big homecoming game halftime show was mostly papier mâché. We would be playing our archrivals, The Hogs, in Friday night’s game so had devised an enormous spit to roast the opposing team’s mascot upon. There were just a few more details left to get the spit to actually turn, and the fake fire beneath it to look like real flames, but it was a Sunday afternoon, we were out of supplies, and our budget was spent.

“Does anyone know where we might get a few 2x4s, a box of screws, maybe some nails, and one of those thingamajiggies...oh, geesh I can’t remember what it’s called, you know!” said our class treasurer. She looked around at our group, but none of us volunteered. None of us, that is, until our class president said, “I have an idea.” He pointed at a few of us and said, “Come with me.”  

The four of us climbed into his Land Rover and he peeled out of the driveway and onto the main road. We all assumed we were headed to the store, but our president turned off the main road and, instead, headed toward one of the new developments.

Our little town was exploding with growth. Two new factories were about to open and people were flocking in from all over. New homes were being built practically overnight. When our president pulled into the driveway of a home that still had no walls, he said, “OK, let’s make this quick.” He pointed at me to grab a box of screws. “About two inches long if you can find them, but we can make anything work.” He assigned another person the task of getting nails and something I didn’t know what it was—probably the thingamajiggie—and he and one of the others headed toward a pile of 2x4s. We were done and out of there inside three minutes. We weren’t even professional thieves, and it was that easy; and we were as callus and unrepentant as if we made a living doing this. 

I could have called my dad, and asked him to meet us at the store. Any one of us could have done that. Any one of our parents would have gladly kicked in the few bucks we needed to finish that float, but we chose to be criminals instead.

The Second Story

My boyfriend asked if I wanted to go swimming at the country club pool. Our families were both members and went all the time. But this time, he wanted to meet there at 2:00 AM, long after it was locked up and closed for the day. It sounded exciting so I said, “Yes.”

Getting to the pool was going to be much easier for me, or so I thought, because I was close enough to ride my bike. He, on the other hand, would have to start up and drive the family car. 

The faint dings of my alarm woke me as planned at 1:30 AM. I ever so quietly got out of bed, put on my bathing suit, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and slipped on my tennis shoes. I picked up the beach towel next to my bed and gently opened the door to my room. I froze for a bit to listen for my sister and parents. Everyone seemed to be sound asleep, including our little Yorkshire Terrier. I sighed with relief and made my next move.

I opened the sliding glass door to our patio where I kept my bike, crept outside, and then slid the door back into place. Before going to bed, I had unlocked my bike from my sister’s, and pulled it several inches away. I had anticipated that messing around with a lock in the dark and the possible noise of detaching the two bikes from each other might make too much racket. The last thing I needed was to wake my mom.

The next challenge would be opening the patio screen door and getting the bike out into the backyard. That, too, went without a hitch and I was soon cycling down our road toward the country club pool.

I couldn’t believe how nervous I was. Suddenly all sorts of things occurred to me that I hadn’t thought about before. What if a patrol car saw me? What if a neighbor saw me? What if I got hit by a car? What if there was some kidnapper out here? Clearly I was not very practiced at breaking rules. But on I cycled toward my destination.

I pulled into a side road just across from the country club to wait for my boyfriend. The minutes ticked toward 2:00 AM and my heart just wouldn’t stop racing. More thoughts of terrible consequences kept popping into my mind. What if someone in one of these homes thought I was an intruder? At ten after, I had just about decided that he had been unable to get away when I saw some headlights. I panicked a bit because I couldn’t tell if the oncoming headlights belonged to his car or not. I leaned into the shadows a bit more. The headlights switched off and I could then see that it was his car, going very very slowly. I eased out of the shadows and waved.

He parked the car, I left my bike next to it, and we walked over to the pool. Whereas my reconnaissance had been limited to getting out of my house without notice, his had included determining the best spot from which to get over the pool fence. There was a breachable place on the back side where the fence, due to the terrain surrounding it was much shorter. We tossed our towels over the top onto the pool deck, and then using natural footholds formed by the structure, scrambled up and over. It was easy.

We paddled around in the pool, kissed a bit, sat in the shallow end looking up at the stars, and then decided it was time to go home. We wished each other luck in getting back into our respective homes, and promised to talk in the morning.

Still dripping wet from head to toe, I opened the screen door to our patio and pulled my bike inside. And then our Yorkshire Terrier came running out through the dog door barking his head off. Busted! The patio light came on and my mind raced. With hardly any thought as to what I was doing I called out, “It’s okay Mom, I don’t see anything out here. Don’t know why he’s barking.” I froze in place as water dripped from my hair down my back. 

“Oh, you’re already out there checking?” she said. There was a long pause as I watched to see whether she would open the sliding glass doors, which thankfully had drawn curtains so she couldn’t actually see me yet. “Yes,” I said as I held my breath waiting. The light was switched off. The doors remained closed. I picked up the dog and held him close petting him for a minute while still nothing else happened. I was kind of afraid to open the sliding doors myself in fear that Mom would still be standing there, but I soon put the dog down and opened them up. She was gone. All the lights in the house were off and I could hear my dad snoring.

Not only had I trespassed on private property, I was guilty of breaking and entering. And, I was a liar. Thankfully, my privilege afforded me the chance to outgrow my hooliganism and live a crime free life thereafter.

Copyright DJ Anderson, 2019